


Eight

by emeraldelm



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24842773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldelm/pseuds/emeraldelm
Summary: Eight has had 2 meanings in Quinn's life.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	Eight

Many people will see the number eight and visualize a myriad of things, great things even. If you rotate the number eight so that it lays horizontally then you get infinity which in itself is a bizarre concept- you can love something for ever and ever because that’s what infinity is, right? And there are others who will associate the number eight with delightfully minty chocolate or even their favorite athlete’s jersey number.

Lucy Quinn Fabray sees eight differently. 

For Lucy, eight is an age; an age at which she realized that nobody truly had a pure soul, an age at which she began to build walls greater than The Wall of China. 

At the age of eight, Lucy was a beauty: however, her beauty was not in your face and bold yet subtle and unique. The longer you looked the more beautiful she became. Some may even argue that she was angelic. Under the dirty blonde hair that perfectly framed her face were the most mesmerizing eyes that you ever did see; a soft brown tone infused with green and specks of gold and if you looked closely then you would see an entire forest captured within, new life waiting to spring. Lucy was the very definition of innocence. She was like a lamb; fleece white and undamaged, untainted with sin and not one bone in her body was bad. Naive, little Lucy knew that her parents loved her, sure they were not as affectionate as her friends parents but nevertheless her parents loved her. Her mistake was to believe that all love was unconditional.

__

Some may say that dinner in the Fabray household was a solemn affair for there were few smiles and one only heard the sweet echo of laughter at the misfortune of others. 

In fact, at this point in time the only thing that could be heard was the sound of cutlery scraping crockery yet Lucy did not care. In her head she was chasing the white rabbit round and round a gigantic willow tree and as she was about to fall down the rabbit hole her thoughts were interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

“Lucy, is it not your job to ensure that the dishes are cleaned?”

“Yes, Daddy.” Lucy nodded with fervor. 

“This wine glass has a water stain on its rim. You’re incredibly fortunate that it was I that drank from it and not one of our guests. What would the church say? Do you want people to think that we keep an unclean home? That we disrespect God?” Her father demanded with anger creeping into his voice.

“I’m sorry Daddy, I didn’t mean to disrespect God” she blurted “ but I was really really very excited because I was playing outside with all of my friends- not in my church clothes, I wore my outdoor play clothes- and we were playing house and we were all a big family and Luke wanted to be my husband but I was like EW because boys are gross and I don-”

“Lucy!” interrupted her mother sternly, a frown upon her face at her daughters irritating rambling.

“Sorry, Mommy. I was just happy because Marie said that she thought boys were gross too and she said that we could marry each other” exclaimed Lucy excitedly. 

The moment she said it, she knew it had been a mistake. The little noise that filled the room evaporated. Two angry pairs of eyes glared at her and she could have sworn she felt her heart being pierced. Her older sister looked away with eyes full of disgust.

If you ask Lucy what happened next, she couldn't tell you. All she remembers is the shouting and the screaming, sudden bolts of pain in various body parts and waking up hours later with developing bruises and her head throbbing.

After all a man should never lay with another man as one would with a woman. Homosexuality is a sin.

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Quinn strutted down the halls of Mckinley, an air of arrogance radiating off of her. She truly wasn’t arrogant, she was just perceived to be so by the majority of Mckinley’s student population but who was she to correct them?

Quinn didn’t want to correct them because if she did then she would have to acknowledge her truths, how full of hatred she was but not for other people, the only person she hated was herself. Acknowledging these truths would do no good for Quinn Fabray. God had given her the chance to become somebody else, Lucy was completely gone and she was never coming back. Quinn would not ruin her second chance.

Her footsteps faltered upon catching a melodic tune bouncing from wall to wall.

“That’s strange” She whispered to herself. Nobody but her was ever at school this late. Everybody else’s parents would remember to pick them up because the love that they had for their children was never conditional. Not in the slightest.

Curious, her feet carried her to the auditorium and dragged her unwillingly into the seat closest to the door for a quick and easy escape should the mysterious singer notice her. The moment she sat down the voice instantly calmed her racing thoughts. No longer was she Quinn Fabray the prettiest girl in Mckinley, she was Alice returning to wonderland- coming home. For her, this voice was home and she found herself falling in love with it. 

The voice was incredible,the best thing that Quinn had ever listened to. Her ears were in pure bliss, heaven even. The voice was so incredible that she could imagine herself listening to it all day everyday until the day that she died.

Too distracted in her own happiness, a rarity in itself, Quinn failed to notice the owner of the euphonious voice slowly walking towards her.

“H-hi, you’re Quinn Fabray. Well of course you know that because you’re you and obviously you know your own name” the owner rambled and Quinn raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “s-sorry , my dads say that I talk a lot when I’m nervous and I suppose that I do; however, I see no problem in being verbose, actually I think it makes me appear more intelligent. Not that I’m not intelligent.Neither are you though, we share classes so I know that for sure, you’re very pretty Quinn.”

“Uh yeah” she replied before fleeing out the doors. Quinn refused to wait any longer for one of her parents to pick her up, she had to leave immediately. The voice had drawn her in and immobilized her. “Oh no, please God no” Quinn was falling in love with a girl's voice, Quinn was falling for a girl. That couldn’t happen. No way. Homosexuality is a sin. “A sin a sin a sin a sin a sin a sin a sin a sin a sin” she panted, forcing herself to run as fast as she could to get as far away as possible from the short brunette girl with a voice bigger than she was. The crisp fall air burning her throat and fire burning in her legs, she stumbled towards the mansion in which she lived with shame weighing down on her shoulders. If her father ever found out he would kill her and if he killed her then she would have to spend eternity in hell. That wasn’t going to happen.

Tears streaming down her face, the cheerleader knew that she couldn’t choose to let herself fall for a girl. “It’s a choice I won’t I won’t I won’t it's a sin a sin” Quinn was her second chance, Quinn was not Lucy. She would not allow herself to mess this up, I mean if she messed this one up then she would have to find a 3rd name and she didn’t have that many.

She knew what she had to do in order to make Quinn stronger and rid herself of Lucy forever. She had to destroy Rachel Berry.

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That is what she tried to do for many years. Each awful act performed just made the brunette diva stronger and more concerned. To her it was obvious that Quinn was not ok. Quinn was lonely and desperate. The petite girl made it HER mission to help Quinn Fabray, thwarting Quinn’s plan in the process.

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“Quinn, whatever it is. Whatever is happening, it’s okay. Glee club can help you, I can help you.” Brown eyes locked with hazel, wisps of pink hair hiding the ex cheerleader’s glistening eyes.

“Berry, I-I don’t need any-”

“Yes you do” the brunette interrupted. “ Quinn I see how much pain you’re in. I saw it the first time I met you. I saw that pain worsen after Shel- Beth’s adoption. A-and I saw that pain when you turned up at my house a few weeks ago in the middle of the night”

Quinn scowled, angry at Rachel for bringing up the night in which her walls were nearly knocked down. 

The night she nearly  _ told _ Rachel.

“Do you not understand how hard it was for me to see you like that? You were drunk and high on God knows what. Quinn please, I’m scared for you just let me help.” Seeing tears openly flowing down the ex-blonde’s face, the diva knew that she had finally got through to Quinn.

“I don’t need help, you can’t help something that can't be fixed” replied Quinn

“You’re not broken Quinn but you are breaking.  _ Please _ Quinn.” the brunette pleaded, her chocolate colored eyes filling with un shed tears.

“Rachel” whispered Quinn “ **_You_ ** can’t help me”

Hurt, the brunette felt her heart begin to break. The dams holding back the water in her eyes broke, tears gushing down her face. “Why not? I thought we were becoming friends?...unless….unless this is about Finn. Do you still have feelings for Finn?” she asked, her voice clouded with sadness and pity.

The pink haired girl let out a cackle that could rival that of the Wicked Witch of the West’s. The confused look on the diva’s face making her laugh even harder, clutching at her ribs trying to breathe. How could Rachel possibly think Quinn still cared about Finn? That she ever dumped Finn? The moron dumped her at a funeral, a funeral! 

“You really think I loved Finn?” she laughed “God, things would have been so much easier if I did. I loved what he gave me. A safe future. Love from my parents. But him? No, I never loved him. You can’t fall for someone if your heart belongs to somebody else.”

“Is it Puck? The person that your heart belongs to, is it Puck?” Rachel asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

The ex-blonde laughed again, but this time there was pain etched into her voice. 

“No” she smiled “Puck gave me Beth and that is the only thing that I could possibly love about that idiot. He gave me something great and for that I hold him in my heart. That’s the problem. I date boys if they can give me something. Selfish I know. I dated Sam because he gave me an escape, he’s funny you know? A great guy but I couldn’t love him. Any normal girl would have fallen in love with him but not me.”

“Quinn, you’re the least selfish person that I have ever met. You had a daughter, a beautiful daughter at 16 when you could have terminated the pregnancy. You gave her up for adoption so that she could get her best chance at life. That is not selfish.”

“Except that I am. The reason she was conceived was because I was selfish. I slept with Puck because I wanted to feel something. I thought that if I slept with him then I would find him attractive. I slept with him to convince myself that I could have feelings for any boy I wanted or at least one boy. But it didn’t work and so I left him because I’m selfish.” Quinn muttered..

Suddenly everything clicked in Rachel’s head. The self loathing that Quinn was feeling, the teenage pregnancy and even the pink hair. Her dads had told her many stories from their teenage years and the ways in which they tried to repress themselves. But Quinn being from a highly religious family would have felt at least double the amount of pain they felt.

“Quinn, are you attracted to girls?” 

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Knuckles beginning to bleed, Quinn pounded on the tall oak door. Her anger had reached a whole new level. She was so furious that her veins were on fire and she felt fit to explode. Tears swirling with rage and despair were barreling down her face for what seemed the hundredth time that week.

“Rachel, open the damn door!” The blonde demanded before eventually slumping against the door, exhaustion taking over her body. “Please, just open the door.” she cried.

Finally, after half an hour of pleading, the door opened to reveal the short brunette on the other side. Her clothes were disheveled and the mascara she had painted on her eyelashes hours previously now created funny little patterns upon a tanned face. Two pairs of teary eyes met briefly before the blonde girl shoved her way into the brunette’s house.

The taller girl wasted no time with formalities. She stormed her way upstairs into the brunette’s bedroom bypassing a series of photographs of said girl on the way. Had this been any other time then Quinn would have stopped to look at each photo to admire the beauty of the girl who she had finally accepted her feelings for.

“Quinn” Rachel chases after her “you can’t just push your way into somebody else’s house!”

“Did you just tell me not to do something?” Quinn smirked “Now that’s funny because I  _ distinctly _ remember telling you not to do something. Looks like neither of us were in the mood for listening.”

Rachel scowled. “ I hardly see how the circumstances are in any way similar, technically what you did is illegal.”

“Illegal? I knocked- very polite of me if I do say so myself- then you kindly opened the door and I walked in.” the blonde quipped “why didn’t you listen to me?” she added solemnly

There was a contemplative look on the brunette’s face, almost as if she was trying to come up with a valid excuse.

“It’s because you’re scared, isn’t it? You’re scared that NYADA doesn’t want you so you’re clinging onto him just in case.” 

“URGHH!” the tiny diva screamed “of course I’m scared. In case you haven’t noticed I’m not as smart as-as people like you. If I don’t get into NYADA then there’s no place for me. All I have is my talent.” With that she grabbed the blonde’s smooth, pale hands and guided her towards the standing mirror at the foot of her bed. Standing behind the blonde, Rachel stood on her bed and brown met hazel in the reflection. “Look at you Quinn, not only are you the most intelligent girl I have ever met but you’re also the prettiest. If Yale had rejected you, you could have done anything. People fawn over your beauty. Everyone loves you and one day you’ll find a nice girl to settle down with. I won’t. Finn loves me a-and people don’t fall in love with people like me.” she said glumly

“You think nobody else will ever love you?” the brunette nodded “that’s bull. I look at you now and I am mesmerized by your beauty. It’s like your eyesight is foggy because everyone else can see how utterly gorgeous you are yet you don’t, but Rachel” she said while clasping their hands together “you are beautiful and I am so so sorry for ever making you feel like you weren’t.”

“Quinn, I have already told you that I forgive you for that. Actually, I appreciate you for being honest with me.”

“I lied.” the blonde replied quickly 

“You wouldn’t have called me those names if they weren’t true, Quinn.” the brunette added doubtfully.

“They weren’t true,” she shrugged “the truth is that you are the kindest, most selfless and beautiful person I know. I lied and I lied and I lied. I lied because I hated you. I hated your voice and the way it made me lose my identity. I hated the way you looked at me. I hated how warm your smile was. I hated that your parents loved you so much that they were always there to pick you up after school. I hated how you made me feel whenever you were near me. I hated you because no matter how hard I tried to push you away, you occupied every single one of my thoughts.”

“Quinn, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying don’t. Don’t marry him. He won’t be the only one who loves you, he isn’t.” concluded Quinn.

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_ BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP _

Quinn knew that sound. She heard that sound plenty of times when she was pregnant so why couldn’t she recognize it?

A single hazel eye peaked open, the room was a blurry white haze and there was a tall dark figure standing in the corner of the room writing things down on a clipboard, a stethoscope around his neck.

“Shit” She was in a hospital, that’s why she recognized the beeping. She got herself into a car accident on the way to her worst nightmare. Funny that. 

“Oh Quinnie, you’re awake. How are you? Are you ok?” her mother asked rather loudly

“I feel like I got hit by a truck” she responded, closing her eyes to ease the pounding in her head. She was angry at herself. If she had ignored that text then she could have made it to the wedding. She could have stopped the wedding but no. Quinn was too impatient, too excited to see that Rachel had text her and ended up getting hit by a freaking truck. This was some Regina George type shit.

Judy huffed. “Well that is to be expected, dear. All of your friends came to see you, you just missed them. In fact the small one with the 2 gay dads left you a note” she said brandishing a small piece of paper, sealed with a gold star. 

As she went to retrieve the note, Quinn noticed her mother’s swollen and puffy red eyes. It was evident that she had been crying for a while. Nobody would usually find joy in their mother's tears but for Quinn, these tears were a sign. They were a sign that her mother still loved her regardless of the many mistakes that she had made in the past few years. A sign that her mother's love for her was unconditional.

__

Carefully, Quinn unfolded the note and smiled. It was a note that she would never dispose of. The note that started her future.

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“Hey Berry, were you aware that theft is illegal?” joked the blonde as she sliced a cucumber, having seen the diva wearing her old Yale sweater.

It was in small moments like these that Quinn was happiest and most grateful for them. 

Concerned about the lack of reply, Quinn stopped dicing the cucumber and turned towards the girl. The small brunette was curled up on the couch, her chestnut brown hair tied up in a messy bun with strands of hair bursting out of her yellow (“Quinn, they're gold, look.”) hair tie. Her knees were pressed against her chest and she was humming along to her favorite musical.

“Rach?” she questioned thinking that her question was not heard.

“Hm?” 

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” the brunette nodded “why didn’t you respond?”

“I didn’t respond because I haven’t been Berry for over 2 years and before you accuse me any further, I didn’t steal _ your _ sweater. We’re married, what’s yours is mine. Simple.” retorted the smaller of the pair.

The blonde rolled her eyes affectionately and looked down towards the number on her wrist. It was a number eight. For Lucy eight was the loss of innocence but for Quinn it symbolized the date she married her wife, the eighth of August. And if she rotated her wrist then the eight looked like infinity because the love she held for her wife had always been there and will always be there for the rest of eternity. 


End file.
